I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
