And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
