flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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