Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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