if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
