I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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