Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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