You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
