So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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