My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
