I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize