My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
