As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
