I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We left an ass print on the piano.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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