Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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