Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
