I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This is the high leading the old right now
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
