I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
