party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize