Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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