hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
