is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Holy sore nipples Batman
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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