i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
As shirtless as possible
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
