I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize