she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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