I'm laying in your front yard are you home
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
