you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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