Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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