i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
