Umm I'm too high to move.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
