Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just high enough for therapy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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