Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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