oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
