He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
