i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
