i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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