you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
