went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I would fuck him just for his dog
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