If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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