goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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