can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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