is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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