my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm both gender and math confused
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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