i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
