I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
