I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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