But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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