**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
