And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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