And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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