Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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