It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
