Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
