now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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