Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
