Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
