Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
