just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Someone came in the potted fern
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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